I am starting this post not really sure what to tell you. I feel many emotions right now. yesterday I was telling Colby that I needed to learn more patience but that I was afraid to ask God for it... He knows and is sending me through a LONG journey of what I need but did not directly ask for. I have prayed for Him to give us what we need and to provide for us... Didn't realize that one of those things would be patience.

As I have posted before, today was the day that our attorney was going to speak to the birthfather- or "sperm donor" if you will. She was going to give him one last chance to sign the adoption papers and cooperate without his parental rights being terminated... She called... And he was IRATE with her. He said there was no way that he would sign the papers. He felt like his rights were already taken away and that he would in no way agree for the adoption... Along with many other choice words. The attorney tried to explain that if he would sign and be cooperative, that he would be able to have privileges such as pictures and such of the children. Still no cooperation.

Next Step?

Final Court hearing on July 20th. This is NOT the end of this and this is going to be a VERY LONG process. Our attorney stated to me that of course a lawyer could not guarantee anything, but that there was NO way the birthfather could have rights to our children. He is a very violent and irrational man who is incapable of taking care of our children.

There will be a "final court" date... eventually set... for the legalities to be finalized. We will have to appear in court for this- in FL. This is not a big deal- as long as Colby doesn't get deployed before then.

I am at a loss. I have prayed for God's will, and that is truly what I want for us and our children. However, God has given us a vision for our children... we must stay focused and carry out that vision.

Staying focused is the key word... I feel like we are being hit by many different obstacles. We have fallen down, but we have also gotten back up. While we are down, it is easy to stay down and wallow in our pity... We know this is NOT of God and NOT what He would have us to do. He is calling us to stand back up and keep our sights on Him... This is easier said than done, but we are striving.

I don't want this post to sound like "poor pitiful us." I just don't know how to get across my feelings without being completely honest with you. This hurts. I look at our children and can't imagine our life without them. They are what is pushing us! But we want this to be final and for us to all be Thomason's. Legally. Not just in our minds.

Again, I am reminded that God never told us this would be easy. We are fighters and we WILL FIGHT for our children. NO MATTER WHAT!
I am learning patience and learning God's timing. His timing is not our timing. What we think should just happen, doesn't for a reason. His reason may not be known right now, but we choose to trust in Him and what He sees in and for our family. He has BIG plans for us. And in the mean time we will wait for that.