Hurry Up and Wait- I have already told you guys that I don't do this sort of thing well... Everything was supposed to be final on Tuesday at 5:00 p.m. as long as the birthfather didn't mail anything in contesting the case of us adopting the boys. Well... now we have this.
As we had hoped and thought, there was NOTHING from the birthfather on Tuesday and papers were taken to the judge on Wednesday, June 8 for him to sign off on the adoption. The judge decided to set a "final hearing" for July 20. For what? I have NO clue! He said he wants the attorneys to move faster and get the case settled... Makes no sense seeing that we have everything ready for him to just sign off on and everything would be final...
Our attorney is going to speak with the birthfather on Tuesday, June 14 @ 10:00 a.m. Her reason for speaking with him will be to try and convince him to sign the papers to agree to the adoption and not fight it. She is sort of "making a deal" with him. IF he signs the papers on Tuesday, then he will be able to receive pictures from the attorney of the children... IF he doesn't sign the papers and wants to wait for this "final hearing," then he will have NO rights and will NOT be able to even receive pictures.... They are trying to make him cooperate a little in this process... Who knows?
This is where we stand. I am so disgusted with our justice system. How can you give a man who is incarcerated so many chances to decide whether or not he wants to "have rights" to his children?? First of all I don't understand how anyone who is incarcerated should have a choice over his children- doesn't seem like he could even control himself, much less my children. Second of all, would a law abiding citizen get this many chances to reclaim their children?
The good news is that the birthfather has not done anything to try and remotely make amends for his children. Let's face it, if you need 20 days to make up your mind on whether you want your children or not... something isn't quite right.
Our attorney is confident that she will win the hearing on July 20, if it even comes down to that.
I am reminded over and over again of the following verse:
Proverbs 3: 5-6
Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.
We could not have gotten where we are today, with our children and family, without leaning on God. We came in to this trusting in Him and we are going to continue to trust in Him. Many times we have to go through trials in order to get to the end of celebration. Needless to say, we have been through the trials and would absolutely love to start the celebration!!! However, we are NOT giving up on God or our children. We WILL fight for them.
I know there has been alot of information in this particular post, but I ask one more thing of you: Please pray. Pray for God's Will to be done, NO MATTER WHAT! That is what we want for our children! All we can do is pray and trust in the Lord!
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Monday, June 6, 2011
Matthew 25:40 "The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’
This verse has seemed to resound in my mind and thoughts for quite a while. I have been reminded that what everyone has done for "our family" has really and truly been done for Christ. What you thought was a good thing for us, has been all for Christ!
I want to thank you for everything. I don't even know where to begin... I am left speechless by the blessings of God.
It seems so funny to us, as a family, when people come up to us and congratulate us and tell us how great we are for taking on these boys. Or how much of a blessing we have been and will be in there lives. Etc. We find this humorous. We feel that our children are a blessing to US! We are doing nothing short of what God had planned all along. No, we did not plan on adopting 3 children, but God DID! Yes, I realize that we are both blessing each other, but we see it as such a God thing that He has ALLOWED us to be a part of their lives. Yes, I said ALLOWED. This is a privilege to us. Children are possibly the GREATEST gift any one could receive from God! And we are witnessing 3 of them.
On another note: (Not sure how all of this will flow, but I feel the need to write about this.)
Today has been a rough day for me. Tomorrow at 5:00 p.m. the adoption will be final, as long as the birthfather doesn't contest it by that time. All I have been able to do for the past 20 days was pray. Pray for the birthfather. Pray for the boys. Pray for us as a family. Pray for the entire situation.
This has been a tough road, waking up to the unknown... Not knowing day to day whether we would get that phone call saying that the birthfather was going to contest.
You see, when we first found out that the birthfather would have a chance to contest- we almost didn't go through with the adoption. IF he were to contest, we would have to pay MORE court fees, MORE attorney fees, and the list goes on and on. It would be $6,000 or more, IF he were to contest....
As I look back on our decision to sacrifice whatever it would take to fight for our children, I am in total awe of the God we serve!! With tears flowing down my face as I write this, I am at peace with our decision to follow God's plan for our family and our children. He has provided and will continue to provide. He ALONE deserves ALL of the glory!! What a mighty God we serve!
During our deciding on what we were going to do- go through with the adoption and risk having to pay more, or call everything off and search for another adoption- we consulted in God, our family, our prayer warriors, everyone who we thought might give us some wisdom and insight... (We should have just consulted in God and left it alone, but that is another story for another time.) Some suggested for us to go with it, and some suggested that we not go with it. We got feedback from either possibility...
I called our pastor and in tears asked for his wisdom and his prayer. I was to the point where I didn't know what was right or wrong. I couldn't discern from God's voice and my wishes.... Pastor Mark talked with us for a while, prayed with us, and gave his opinion. Then he said these words that I will never ever forget: "God always gives the Vision before the Provision." Meaning that God will give us a Vision for His people, then he will provide a way for His vision to come forth.
It was at this point in our journey that we knew what we were supposed to do. Once we got off of the phone with Pastor Mark, Colby and I prayed. Colby looked up at me and said: "We are supposed to do this."
God is amazing, right? He works in His time and through His people. We have followed His Will and His voice. It has not always been roses for us. There have been times throughout our month journey that I have turned to God and said "You want me to do WHAT?" But, when we follow Him, He makes a way!!
I ask that for the next 24 hours, you pray with us. We need to make it through tomorrow, June 7 @ 5:00 p.m. I ask that you commit to pray with us and for us.
Ok- So I know that you guys have questions about our situation and about what we are doing/have done.... I am NOT ashamed and would LOVE LOVE LOVE to answer your questions. Nothing is too personal for me, but I do ask that you not ask anything specific about the birthparents ( where they live, work, names, etc.) But other than that, I will post a blog with your questions(totally anonymous) and my answers. This gives you the time to ask whatever you want... :) You can email me your questions to marylthomason@ymail.com or text them to 662.574.2496. If you do not care if your question is anonymous, you may also post it to this blog.
This verse has seemed to resound in my mind and thoughts for quite a while. I have been reminded that what everyone has done for "our family" has really and truly been done for Christ. What you thought was a good thing for us, has been all for Christ!
I want to thank you for everything. I don't even know where to begin... I am left speechless by the blessings of God.
It seems so funny to us, as a family, when people come up to us and congratulate us and tell us how great we are for taking on these boys. Or how much of a blessing we have been and will be in there lives. Etc. We find this humorous. We feel that our children are a blessing to US! We are doing nothing short of what God had planned all along. No, we did not plan on adopting 3 children, but God DID! Yes, I realize that we are both blessing each other, but we see it as such a God thing that He has ALLOWED us to be a part of their lives. Yes, I said ALLOWED. This is a privilege to us. Children are possibly the GREATEST gift any one could receive from God! And we are witnessing 3 of them.
On another note: (Not sure how all of this will flow, but I feel the need to write about this.)
Today has been a rough day for me. Tomorrow at 5:00 p.m. the adoption will be final, as long as the birthfather doesn't contest it by that time. All I have been able to do for the past 20 days was pray. Pray for the birthfather. Pray for the boys. Pray for us as a family. Pray for the entire situation.
This has been a tough road, waking up to the unknown... Not knowing day to day whether we would get that phone call saying that the birthfather was going to contest.
You see, when we first found out that the birthfather would have a chance to contest- we almost didn't go through with the adoption. IF he were to contest, we would have to pay MORE court fees, MORE attorney fees, and the list goes on and on. It would be $6,000 or more, IF he were to contest....
As I look back on our decision to sacrifice whatever it would take to fight for our children, I am in total awe of the God we serve!! With tears flowing down my face as I write this, I am at peace with our decision to follow God's plan for our family and our children. He has provided and will continue to provide. He ALONE deserves ALL of the glory!! What a mighty God we serve!
During our deciding on what we were going to do- go through with the adoption and risk having to pay more, or call everything off and search for another adoption- we consulted in God, our family, our prayer warriors, everyone who we thought might give us some wisdom and insight... (We should have just consulted in God and left it alone, but that is another story for another time.) Some suggested for us to go with it, and some suggested that we not go with it. We got feedback from either possibility...
I called our pastor and in tears asked for his wisdom and his prayer. I was to the point where I didn't know what was right or wrong. I couldn't discern from God's voice and my wishes.... Pastor Mark talked with us for a while, prayed with us, and gave his opinion. Then he said these words that I will never ever forget: "God always gives the Vision before the Provision." Meaning that God will give us a Vision for His people, then he will provide a way for His vision to come forth.
It was at this point in our journey that we knew what we were supposed to do. Once we got off of the phone with Pastor Mark, Colby and I prayed. Colby looked up at me and said: "We are supposed to do this."
God is amazing, right? He works in His time and through His people. We have followed His Will and His voice. It has not always been roses for us. There have been times throughout our month journey that I have turned to God and said "You want me to do WHAT?" But, when we follow Him, He makes a way!!
I ask that for the next 24 hours, you pray with us. We need to make it through tomorrow, June 7 @ 5:00 p.m. I ask that you commit to pray with us and for us.
Ok- So I know that you guys have questions about our situation and about what we are doing/have done.... I am NOT ashamed and would LOVE LOVE LOVE to answer your questions. Nothing is too personal for me, but I do ask that you not ask anything specific about the birthparents ( where they live, work, names, etc.) But other than that, I will post a blog with your questions(totally anonymous) and my answers. This gives you the time to ask whatever you want... :) You can email me your questions to marylthomason@ymail.com or text them to 662.574.2496. If you do not care if your question is anonymous, you may also post it to this blog.
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
What a busy week we have had!
We are slowly but surely getting the boys into a routine and on a schedule. It has been something that they have really needed and truly thrive off of. I love to see them know the "plan" and know that we aren't going to just up and change things on them... like where they will live, etc.
I sit and look at them and my mind wonders. What have my precious boys been through? What have they seen? It breaks my heart to even think about what has gone on before they were placed with us. I know that God has a plan and they are in a better place, but it is still something that I am struggling with. I want to be able to discipline them and teach them right from wrong, but I often wonder if we are being too hard on them or maybe not hard enough. Colby and I know that we have to do our jobs as parents, but we still have in the back of our minds that they have seen and heard some terrible things.
This is tough when you are trying to show love but also discipline. I have always heard the following two statements that I never completely and truly understood until now:
- "This is going to hurt me more than it will hurt you."
- "If you love your child you will show them discipline."
This is where I am at: I want to be the best mother and give them things that they have never had (not necessarily materialistic) and show them things that they have never been introduced to. But I also KNOW that in order for us not to raise hellions, we have to discipline. I mean discipline is Biblical. We want to be Godly parents. But how do we know whether we are doing this "correctly" or not? Is there a "correct" way per say? Not every child is the same and they do not all react the same way to the same forms of discipline. We know this...
But I am struggling with whether or not what we are doing is what we should be doing.
Personalities will be learned from each of us and maybe time will tell, but I don't want to wake up one morning and realize that what we are doing is totally wrong and we need to start over. I keep telling myself that we have only been their parents for a month and we all have things to learn about each other.
We are listening to advice from everyone. Not necessarily taking and using that advice, but we are listening. Lol. I am simply praying to God and asking for His guidance and not guidance from anyone else. I am asking God to help me to discern His voice from others and His thoughts from my thoughts.
May God teach us to be the parents that He would have us to be. May we trust in Him alone and continue to have faith in knowing that He has a plan. He has had a plan for these boys from day one. He is just allowing our paths to cross and allowing us to be their earthly father and mother. May we continue to teach God's love to Marcus, Morris, and Manuel. My God be the head of our lives and our family!
We are slowly but surely getting the boys into a routine and on a schedule. It has been something that they have really needed and truly thrive off of. I love to see them know the "plan" and know that we aren't going to just up and change things on them... like where they will live, etc.
I sit and look at them and my mind wonders. What have my precious boys been through? What have they seen? It breaks my heart to even think about what has gone on before they were placed with us. I know that God has a plan and they are in a better place, but it is still something that I am struggling with. I want to be able to discipline them and teach them right from wrong, but I often wonder if we are being too hard on them or maybe not hard enough. Colby and I know that we have to do our jobs as parents, but we still have in the back of our minds that they have seen and heard some terrible things.
This is tough when you are trying to show love but also discipline. I have always heard the following two statements that I never completely and truly understood until now:
- "This is going to hurt me more than it will hurt you."
- "If you love your child you will show them discipline."
This is where I am at: I want to be the best mother and give them things that they have never had (not necessarily materialistic) and show them things that they have never been introduced to. But I also KNOW that in order for us not to raise hellions, we have to discipline. I mean discipline is Biblical. We want to be Godly parents. But how do we know whether we are doing this "correctly" or not? Is there a "correct" way per say? Not every child is the same and they do not all react the same way to the same forms of discipline. We know this...
But I am struggling with whether or not what we are doing is what we should be doing.
Personalities will be learned from each of us and maybe time will tell, but I don't want to wake up one morning and realize that what we are doing is totally wrong and we need to start over. I keep telling myself that we have only been their parents for a month and we all have things to learn about each other.
We are listening to advice from everyone. Not necessarily taking and using that advice, but we are listening. Lol. I am simply praying to God and asking for His guidance and not guidance from anyone else. I am asking God to help me to discern His voice from others and His thoughts from my thoughts.
May God teach us to be the parents that He would have us to be. May we trust in Him alone and continue to have faith in knowing that He has a plan. He has had a plan for these boys from day one. He is just allowing our paths to cross and allowing us to be their earthly father and mother. May we continue to teach God's love to Marcus, Morris, and Manuel. My God be the head of our lives and our family!
Monday, May 30, 2011
What a journey we are on! I am loving every minute of it! It has been such a great weekend having Colby home and just getting to spend family time together! I can't imagine doing anything else.
Colby and I had our first experience where we felt accomplished!!!! MORRIS POO POOED IN THE BIG BOY POTTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is a REALLY big deal to us!! We have been working on potty training him and have felt like we were getting no where. I know- boys are harder to potty train, but come on! He is 3 years old and should be learning faster.... we thought. haha. So, we have done this thing backwards. He will tell us when he needs to poo but not when he needs to pee.... Weird, I know, but quite frankly I would much rather clean up pee than poo from a pull up. I mean, who wouldn't??
This being Memorial Day, I feel so blessed! Colby is home this year. Yes, they are discussing the next deployment, but I can only focus on the now- not worry about what lies ahead in our future. It is inevitable that he will deploy, we just don't know when. I know, you are thinking WHAT ABOUT THE BOYS? Well, I wonder the same thing. But I know that God has a plan and He is in control! We WILL make it through another deployment if not several more. It's just what military families do. We knew this was a possibility when we signed the papers for adoption, and we are ready to face the challenge. I know the boys will not understand at first, but they will eventually know no different than daddy going to another country to serve. He WILL come home, God willing.
I spoke with our attorney this weekend and found out that we were supposed to have our post- placement visit (with the social worker) done withing the first 30 days of the boys being placed- TODAY is the 30 day mark and we have NOT had our post- placement visit yet.... I didn't know that it was supposed to be in the first 30 days. I guess I thought it was supposed to be just whenever we got settled in. Oh well. I will work on calling the agency and getting that set up for ASAP.
Last thing, still be praying for the situation of the birthfather NOT signing the papers to take us to court and fight for "his" children- while incarcerated. He has just a few more days and we know that God is in control. Just a reminder- we are praying that the birthfather does NOT sign the papers within his 20 day window... If he doesn't sign- then he relinquishes his rights as a father and the adoption will be FINAL! :)
I pray that you have a blessed Memorial Day!
Colby and I had our first experience where we felt accomplished!!!! MORRIS POO POOED IN THE BIG BOY POTTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is a REALLY big deal to us!! We have been working on potty training him and have felt like we were getting no where. I know- boys are harder to potty train, but come on! He is 3 years old and should be learning faster.... we thought. haha. So, we have done this thing backwards. He will tell us when he needs to poo but not when he needs to pee.... Weird, I know, but quite frankly I would much rather clean up pee than poo from a pull up. I mean, who wouldn't??
This being Memorial Day, I feel so blessed! Colby is home this year. Yes, they are discussing the next deployment, but I can only focus on the now- not worry about what lies ahead in our future. It is inevitable that he will deploy, we just don't know when. I know, you are thinking WHAT ABOUT THE BOYS? Well, I wonder the same thing. But I know that God has a plan and He is in control! We WILL make it through another deployment if not several more. It's just what military families do. We knew this was a possibility when we signed the papers for adoption, and we are ready to face the challenge. I know the boys will not understand at first, but they will eventually know no different than daddy going to another country to serve. He WILL come home, God willing.
I spoke with our attorney this weekend and found out that we were supposed to have our post- placement visit (with the social worker) done withing the first 30 days of the boys being placed- TODAY is the 30 day mark and we have NOT had our post- placement visit yet.... I didn't know that it was supposed to be in the first 30 days. I guess I thought it was supposed to be just whenever we got settled in. Oh well. I will work on calling the agency and getting that set up for ASAP.
Last thing, still be praying for the situation of the birthfather NOT signing the papers to take us to court and fight for "his" children- while incarcerated. He has just a few more days and we know that God is in control. Just a reminder- we are praying that the birthfather does NOT sign the papers within his 20 day window... If he doesn't sign- then he relinquishes his rights as a father and the adoption will be FINAL! :)
I pray that you have a blessed Memorial Day!
Thursday, May 26, 2011
I got so caught up in telling our story earlier that I forgot something VERY important for you to be praying for. The birthmother has signed over her rights completely!! The birthfather is incarcerated and is not giving us the time of day in adopting "his" children- whom he has had NOTHING to do with since birth. Considering that both are still legally married, BOTH must sign over rights. I tell you all of this for you to be praying! The birthfather was presented with papers concerning the adoption 11 days ago. He has a total of 20 days to decide whether or not he will fight the case and go to court for his children.... We pray that he DOES NOT sign the papers to go to court, but simply ignores them and the case will be FINAL!! He has 9 more days to think on it and/or sign the papers. No one has heard from him since being served with papers, and we pray it stays this way. We know that GOD is in control and we are handing it over to him! These precious boys are God's children FIRST and we acknowledge that. We know that God has a plan, and we are more than willing to fight for it!
Until this is FINAL, Colby and I cannot receive any reimbursement for the costs through the military or the government (IRS). Our attorney is pushing for this to be final by the end of December so that everything can be filled on the 2011 tax year and we can hopefully receive some reimbursement. However, we are not going to focus on the money spent in the past nor the money to be spent in the future. Our focus is on God and on raising these precious gifts to acknowledge Him! He is the Miracle Worker and without Him we would have NOTHING!
All of the praise be unto God!
Until this is FINAL, Colby and I cannot receive any reimbursement for the costs through the military or the government (IRS). Our attorney is pushing for this to be final by the end of December so that everything can be filled on the 2011 tax year and we can hopefully receive some reimbursement. However, we are not going to focus on the money spent in the past nor the money to be spent in the future. Our focus is on God and on raising these precious gifts to acknowledge Him! He is the Miracle Worker and without Him we would have NOTHING!
All of the praise be unto God!
WOW! I am finally starting this... a little too late maybe, but better late than never! I said I wanted to start this blog LONG before we ever adopted, but that obviously didn't happen. I will try and remember everything from the beginning until now, but please forgive me for forgetting things between then and now.
We began the adoption process once Colby, my husband, got home from his tour serving in Iraq. I would LOVED to have started the process earlier, but we were both waiting on God's timing- and Him to tell BOTH of us at the same time when we were supposed to start the process. In October 2010 we researched agencies and found one that we would just "apply" to and see how it goes. We were a little apprehensive about finding an agency that no one had ever really heard of, but we left it all in God's hands. We applied to Lifetime Adoptions. We checked their license and credibility and felt that they were the "real deal." After waiting 2 weeks to hear from them, we got the news that we were ACCEPTED!! Greatest news EVER! See, this agency only accepts 17% of their applicants- and we were one of them!! WOOHOO!!
We went through all of the background checks, FBI fingerprinting, home-studies, the whole bit! We were done with everything we had to do on our end by the end of December 2010. Since we were going through an open adoption (pick your mouth up off of the floor) we would just wait on the birthmother to choose our family. Yes, this means that we would keep in contact with the birthmother of our children and that we would keep her up to date on her children that we would adopt. Many people think this is crazy, but we felt it would be the best thing for the birthmother's sake. She would like contact, simply to know that her children are in safe hands and to reassure her of her decision in selected our family.
I am not a patient person when it come to the "hurry up and wait" things. If I have to hurry up, then I want to see something come of that hurrying- THEN! lol. So, you can imagine that throughout this waiting, I am struggling with myself and with God. The waiting just about did me in... but I knew that God had a plan and I was waiting on the perfect child that God had for us. That is what I kept telling myself to make it through the process.
In March 2011, Colby and I bought a new house and moved! We were sooo proud!!! We knew that buying a new house would mean to change our address with the adoption agency, but we never thought it would mean that we would have to pay for it. lol. (That is another topic for another blog!) We had to have a homestudy re-done so that our new house could be inspected and for the agency to see that we would still be able to have room for a child and such...
The new homestudy was complete the week before I got the EMAIL...
The Email-
Periodically, our agency sends out "desperate emails" for children who may have special circumstances and need an immediate family. We have gotten emails with these types of children frequently and I usually just read them and dreamed of us one day adopting our forever child.
This email was different. The description seemed interesting and I thought how neat it would be to send this special birthmother our profile! I contacted the agency (before talking to Colby. : / ) and asked a few questions and told them we would like to send out our profile... THEN I CALLED MY HUSBAND. oops. He was excited and didn't think much of it from there... I prayed. Continuously. Day in and day out! I emailed the agency asking about the children. I emailed the agency asking about the birthmother. I pretty much bugged them to death wondering how the family was doing. Out of concern, not necessarily thinking that we would be selected by the birthmother and adopt the children.
This was all the week before Easter.
We told our families about the children and asked them to pray for them and for us- that God would reign in and open doors and close doors. Of course our families were thrilled!! They got us all excited and then we REALLY couldn't stop thinking about the children. We had gone home for Easter weekend, and on the way home- Colby and I talked NON-STOP about the children!! What we would do with them, how we would discipline, how we would work through difficulties, what they would call us, what they would call our families... EVERYTHING!!
2 hours from being home, the phone rang- the phone call that would change our lives!! On the other end of the phone was the agency telling us that the birthmother had chosen our family and would like to talk to us over the phone- THAT NIGHT!! AHH! We were 2 hours away and didn't have much service on our cell phones so we raced home- LITERALLY! I think at one point Colby looked down and we were going at least 95. hahaha. We needed to get home ASAP to speak with the birthmother!!
We got home, called the birthmother- she asked us to call her the next night... We were heartbroken! We just knew that we were going to be able to talk to her and ask all of our questions and hear her story... We had to wait another day. My excitement left and I was genuinely disappointed.
The next night couldn't come fast enough!! We spoke with the birthmother and my excitement was back!! SHE LOVED US! WOW! I was so excited to know that there was a birthmother out there to "choose" us... Our conversation ended with her saying "I don't have to look any further for a family for my boys. I never knew that there were people out there like you guys who would take on 3 boys at the same time. I will call the agency tomorrow and tell them that I have chosen you."
Tears flow. And tears flow!
Colby and I are crying. More me... lol. He asked me at one point if I was having a good cry or a bad cry. haha. Don't you just love men!
We talked with the agency the next day and found out that we would be traveling to FL to pick up our boys the following week!! LESS THAN 5 DAYS!!!!
We got everything ready that we could possibly think of in 5 days that we needed to get and to do- still leaving things out of course. And hit the road to FL!
Once we got there, we met the birthmother and boys (along with our attorney and such) at the birthmother's house. Our first time seeing the boys- AMAZING! No words could describe what we were feeling. In the house that our precious children were living in- there was NOTHING! When I say nothing I mean that there were air mattresses on the floor and that was it! My babies were barely surviving. No food, No toys, No clothes. NOTHING! It was not a good situation and my heart was broken for our boys.
They had never been in a car seat, so needless to say after our first 5 minutes in the car with them, we invested in DVD players! Yes, I am the mother who said my children would NEVER have to have a DVD player to ride in a car... Ate those words!!
We spent the first week in FL with the boys- in our care. We waited on the clearances that we needed to be able to leave the state of FL with them and enter the state of NC. After the first week, we drove to MS from FL. We turned a 7 hour trip into a 12 hour trip- and that was with DVD players.... Can you imagine?
We went to MS to visit family and friends and we SO very blessed!!! WOW. I was left speechless by the generosity of our church family and friends!! We had to rent a Uhaul to go from MS to NC because of all of the clothes and toys that God had blessed us with!! Amazing huh?
Now, we are home, in NC with our 3 boys and life is amazing! Yes, there are times in the day that I want to pull my hair out, but I love it!!! Being a mother is wonderful! Even with the screaming and pitching of fits. I still love it!! Yes, we get looks walking through Wal Mart because we are a biracial family. Do we care? Of course I hate the looks and wish that people would mind their own business and stop worrying about us and over thinking our situation. But then again, I sort of like it! I walk through Wal Mart with my head held high saying in my head- "I am a Mommy and I love my children!" :)
As for now, I have been on this computer WAY too long and need to get off to take care of my little trio! Thank you to everyone who has supported us through prayers, gifts, and cards! We appreciate it, but don't let it stop! Continue to pray for us! We WILL need it!
We began the adoption process once Colby, my husband, got home from his tour serving in Iraq. I would LOVED to have started the process earlier, but we were both waiting on God's timing- and Him to tell BOTH of us at the same time when we were supposed to start the process. In October 2010 we researched agencies and found one that we would just "apply" to and see how it goes. We were a little apprehensive about finding an agency that no one had ever really heard of, but we left it all in God's hands. We applied to Lifetime Adoptions. We checked their license and credibility and felt that they were the "real deal." After waiting 2 weeks to hear from them, we got the news that we were ACCEPTED!! Greatest news EVER! See, this agency only accepts 17% of their applicants- and we were one of them!! WOOHOO!!
We went through all of the background checks, FBI fingerprinting, home-studies, the whole bit! We were done with everything we had to do on our end by the end of December 2010. Since we were going through an open adoption (pick your mouth up off of the floor) we would just wait on the birthmother to choose our family. Yes, this means that we would keep in contact with the birthmother of our children and that we would keep her up to date on her children that we would adopt. Many people think this is crazy, but we felt it would be the best thing for the birthmother's sake. She would like contact, simply to know that her children are in safe hands and to reassure her of her decision in selected our family.
I am not a patient person when it come to the "hurry up and wait" things. If I have to hurry up, then I want to see something come of that hurrying- THEN! lol. So, you can imagine that throughout this waiting, I am struggling with myself and with God. The waiting just about did me in... but I knew that God had a plan and I was waiting on the perfect child that God had for us. That is what I kept telling myself to make it through the process.
In March 2011, Colby and I bought a new house and moved! We were sooo proud!!! We knew that buying a new house would mean to change our address with the adoption agency, but we never thought it would mean that we would have to pay for it. lol. (That is another topic for another blog!) We had to have a homestudy re-done so that our new house could be inspected and for the agency to see that we would still be able to have room for a child and such...
The new homestudy was complete the week before I got the EMAIL...
The Email-
Periodically, our agency sends out "desperate emails" for children who may have special circumstances and need an immediate family. We have gotten emails with these types of children frequently and I usually just read them and dreamed of us one day adopting our forever child.
This email was different. The description seemed interesting and I thought how neat it would be to send this special birthmother our profile! I contacted the agency (before talking to Colby. : / ) and asked a few questions and told them we would like to send out our profile... THEN I CALLED MY HUSBAND. oops. He was excited and didn't think much of it from there... I prayed. Continuously. Day in and day out! I emailed the agency asking about the children. I emailed the agency asking about the birthmother. I pretty much bugged them to death wondering how the family was doing. Out of concern, not necessarily thinking that we would be selected by the birthmother and adopt the children.
This was all the week before Easter.
We told our families about the children and asked them to pray for them and for us- that God would reign in and open doors and close doors. Of course our families were thrilled!! They got us all excited and then we REALLY couldn't stop thinking about the children. We had gone home for Easter weekend, and on the way home- Colby and I talked NON-STOP about the children!! What we would do with them, how we would discipline, how we would work through difficulties, what they would call us, what they would call our families... EVERYTHING!!
2 hours from being home, the phone rang- the phone call that would change our lives!! On the other end of the phone was the agency telling us that the birthmother had chosen our family and would like to talk to us over the phone- THAT NIGHT!! AHH! We were 2 hours away and didn't have much service on our cell phones so we raced home- LITERALLY! I think at one point Colby looked down and we were going at least 95. hahaha. We needed to get home ASAP to speak with the birthmother!!
We got home, called the birthmother- she asked us to call her the next night... We were heartbroken! We just knew that we were going to be able to talk to her and ask all of our questions and hear her story... We had to wait another day. My excitement left and I was genuinely disappointed.
The next night couldn't come fast enough!! We spoke with the birthmother and my excitement was back!! SHE LOVED US! WOW! I was so excited to know that there was a birthmother out there to "choose" us... Our conversation ended with her saying "I don't have to look any further for a family for my boys. I never knew that there were people out there like you guys who would take on 3 boys at the same time. I will call the agency tomorrow and tell them that I have chosen you."
Tears flow. And tears flow!
Colby and I are crying. More me... lol. He asked me at one point if I was having a good cry or a bad cry. haha. Don't you just love men!
We talked with the agency the next day and found out that we would be traveling to FL to pick up our boys the following week!! LESS THAN 5 DAYS!!!!
We got everything ready that we could possibly think of in 5 days that we needed to get and to do- still leaving things out of course. And hit the road to FL!
Once we got there, we met the birthmother and boys (along with our attorney and such) at the birthmother's house. Our first time seeing the boys- AMAZING! No words could describe what we were feeling. In the house that our precious children were living in- there was NOTHING! When I say nothing I mean that there were air mattresses on the floor and that was it! My babies were barely surviving. No food, No toys, No clothes. NOTHING! It was not a good situation and my heart was broken for our boys.
They had never been in a car seat, so needless to say after our first 5 minutes in the car with them, we invested in DVD players! Yes, I am the mother who said my children would NEVER have to have a DVD player to ride in a car... Ate those words!!
We spent the first week in FL with the boys- in our care. We waited on the clearances that we needed to be able to leave the state of FL with them and enter the state of NC. After the first week, we drove to MS from FL. We turned a 7 hour trip into a 12 hour trip- and that was with DVD players.... Can you imagine?
We went to MS to visit family and friends and we SO very blessed!!! WOW. I was left speechless by the generosity of our church family and friends!! We had to rent a Uhaul to go from MS to NC because of all of the clothes and toys that God had blessed us with!! Amazing huh?
Now, we are home, in NC with our 3 boys and life is amazing! Yes, there are times in the day that I want to pull my hair out, but I love it!!! Being a mother is wonderful! Even with the screaming and pitching of fits. I still love it!! Yes, we get looks walking through Wal Mart because we are a biracial family. Do we care? Of course I hate the looks and wish that people would mind their own business and stop worrying about us and over thinking our situation. But then again, I sort of like it! I walk through Wal Mart with my head held high saying in my head- "I am a Mommy and I love my children!" :)
As for now, I have been on this computer WAY too long and need to get off to take care of my little trio! Thank you to everyone who has supported us through prayers, gifts, and cards! We appreciate it, but don't let it stop! Continue to pray for us! We WILL need it!
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