I often find myself looking at our precious gifts from God and asking Him: "What do You have planned for them?" , "Why did you choose us?" , "What are you preparing all of us for?" , "What kind of men will they be?" - God often leaves me perplexed. This is one great thing about our God! He has a plan and teaches us to trust in Him and allow Him to lead the way.

God is really dealing with our family in a strong way. My prayer is that He continues to do so and that we, as a family, would continue to listen and act obediently. OBEDIENTLY is the key here. I, in the flesh, like to have things my way. Those of you who really know me- this does not come to you as a surprise. I am a planner and like to have everything organized and in its place... God is working with me on this. I pray that my stubbornness would not hinder His work in our family. Many times I will have a "plan" and think that we can only do things a certain way, when all along God is trying to teach me to go with His plan and listen to His voice.
Just being completely open and honest.
This is NOT where we thought God would lead us or was leading us when we signed those adoption papers. But looking back and seeing how far we have come and what we have gone through- He had a perfect plan the whole time. Did we doubt what God was doing- YES! There were days that Colby would come home and I would be in tears saying- "This is never going to happen." And look at us now. A happy family and may have saved the lives of 3 amazing children. I turn to God and ask Him what His purpose for choosing us was... Haven't heard from Him on that question yet, but I know He has a reason. We may never know...

On Sunday, June 19, all 3 boys were dedicated back to our God who sent them to us. If you haven't seen the video of their dedication here is the link: 

http://gallery.me.com/dkfranks#100344
(just copy and paste to your browser)
I hope you are able to watch this amazing moment for our family. God's presence was truly in this place!

Colby has been gone on a 3 day "mission" since Sunday... This is the first time that he has been gone for an "extended" amount of time since the adoption. I have been worried about how they would do, but so far they have seemed ok. Marcus has had the hardest time out of all of them. Today on our way home from town, he turned to me and said "Mama, I miss Daddy." This broke my heart. They have never had that father figure that Colby provides for them. Being a mother is a special job, but I cannot do the "fathering" like Colby does. Men just have that special ability- and Colby is exceptional at it. I had to explain that Daddy was at work for a few days, but that he missed Marcus very much and would be coming home very soon. He said ok and I thought he understood... We pulled in the neighborhood and he asked again, "Is Daddy at home waiting for us?" I know they don't understand and have so many questions. Shoot! I don't always understand the Army and often have WAY too many questions!

In the back of my mind I am thinking- "how is he going to deal with a deployment?" Wow. I am not going to borrow that trouble today! I am going to focus on Colby coming home from this "mission" and dealing with what is a definite. Him deploying is not set yet and we have no orders in hand. So I will not worry about that until the time comes.

Manuel is doing WONDERFUL on his potty training!! He is now sitting on the "big boy potty" and is immediately doing his business. He still hasn't fully grasped the fact that he should tell me when he needs to go, or to poo-poo in the "big boy potty," but he will learn (or that is what I keep promising myself). : ) I feel like we have finally accomplished something! Now if I can just get Marcus ready for kindergarten we will be good!

 We are going to the DR tomorrow for each of them to have their "check-ups" for the adoption, as well as for Marcus to have his Kindergarten Health Assessment. I know this will include shots for Marcus- hopefully no one else! Yes, I am going to try and attempt this on my own and come up with some sort of treat for afterwards! This is when my patience gets low with them. When I am left to do these sort of things alone and with 3 children... I am praying to stay calm so that hopefully my actions will help their reactions. Not my strength. But I am working on it. When I see them cry- I want to cry. When I see them scream- sometimes I want to scream with them! haha.

Please continue to be in prayer for our family! Especially tomorrow. We appreciate all of your love and support for our family and can't wait to see what God has in store for us!!

Sorry it has been so long (one week) since I have posted. Things have been quite busy at our house lately. Imagine that?!!

The visit with the social worker went very well in my opinion. I was so nervous... Pretty much for nothing. Ha She was very interested in our "story." However, the only down side was that all 3 boys were right up under us and had to hear everything all over again. Not that they were really paying attention to us, but I hated them to hear it again. She said the boys were adjusting WAY better than expected, and we were doing a great job! I kinda liked to hear that from a "no-biased professional." Ha. We hear that quite often from friends and family, but I like to think they HAVE to say that... lol.

Marcus is so hilarious! He has such a great sense of humor- but very dry. He reminds us so much of  a mixture between "Little Bill" and "Fat Albert" (but the skinny version). One day I asked them to get their shoes on so that we could go to the grocery store. Of course, Marcus wanted to know which one- he is FULL of questions! :) I proceeded to tell him the "Food Lion" just up the road. When we got there he asked again- "What is this?" Again- I told him the "Food Lion." Once we got inside, he wanted to know where the lions were that we were going to feed. Hahaha. Explaining to a 5 year old that we weren't going to feed lions was quite the task. Now everytime I come home with a gracery bag, he wants to know did I get lion food. He just doesn't get it!

Today has been a rainy yucky day, so we all stayed in our pajamas (not a rare thing) and played inside. I have not been as great on my "putting things in their place." The boys found my shoes (in the living room) and began to try them on. I thought this was only fun for girls- but apparently not! I let them in my closet to play- maybe I should have let them in Colby's because this is what I found: Daddy would be embarrassed if he knew I had taken pictures much less shared them with everyone... But here you go.

Manuel in his new kicks. Gotta love that smile!

 Morris and his thigh high boots... lol. Maybe we can just say that these are his "soldier boots"?

Then... We have Marcus... What should I say? At least he is throwing up some sort of gangster sign in those heels. : /  I can just hear Colby now... haha.

Please continue to pray for our family. Our next visit with the social worker will be on July 13th at a local park-so thankful there will be no more home visits. Although it might keep me motivated to clean a little more... Just makes me nervous having such "important" guests.
As far as we know, the final hearing is set for July 20th. I will keep you guys posted if anything changes. Please pray for our family, the judge, our attorney, the birthfather, and anyone else involved.

Today is our first post placement visit from our social worker. She is coming to our house to check on the boys and see how everyone is adjusting and make sure we are "safe and fit parents." We are required one visit a month for 3 months before anything can be final with the courts. Our visit will be at 1:00p.m. eastern time. Please be in prayer for us and the boys during this time. I will update later on how things go. :)

For now, I will answer the questions that have been emailed to me about our adoption.

"How are the boys adjusting?"

The boys are doing great! We have been mommy and daddy from day one. They do not ask for their birthmother- in fact they haven't asked anything. What a blessing! They have answered to their "new names" from the beginning.
I am sure that they have a few uncertainties, but they haven't voiced them. We have made it a point to let them know that we love them for them and they will always be loved by us- no matter what. A few times when telling Marcus that we love him, he will say "You love me?" It is an awesome experience to be able to show true love to them. Something that I don't think they have ever seen. Everytime we pull into our driveway from going into town, one of them asks if we are at "their" house. : ) I try not to call things "mine" or "yours," everything is "ours." They LOVE having "their room" and "their bed"! They still don't quite get the concept that the toys and such in their rooms are all theirs.
They are doing great, but all of us are still adjusting. I am sure the adjustment will continue for a while, but we are enjoying it!!

-"Have you always wanted to adopt or could you guys just not have children?"

I told you guys from the beginning that no question was too personal. : )
We have always loved children and had a heart for the mother and fatherless. It is just something that God has placed in our hearts from the beginning. A heart for others. I have always wanted to adopt. When I was younger I always wanted to adopt from China- a-typical huh? Colby always wanted us to have our "own" child first and then try to adopt later.
Six weeks before Colby and I got married, I had to have a hysterectomy. I was in severe pain and was having serious female problems. I was told by the doctor in Atlanta that either I wouldn't be able to conceive or that my body would automatically abort the child. Knowing the pain that I was in and the possibilities of me being able to conceive and carry to term, Colby and I chose that me being out of misery would be best and we told the doctor that a hysterectomy would be our answer. Yes, it was a big decision for an 18 and 19 year old, but we made it and haven't regretted it one bit.
The doctors were concerned that we would later regret it and one even denied performing the surgery. I am not going to say that this was an easy decision, but we knew that God had a plan. If His plan was for us to have children, He would provide a way.
Yes, I struggled seeing pregnant women and often wondered how it must feel to have a child growing and being formed in your womb. But again, I continued to pray for God's will and for the child that He would eventually place in our arms.
Now look at us. : ) Three children later. I NEVER in a million year thought this would happen or be us. But God did!!


Please pray for us throughout today if you get a chance. This is possibly one of the most stressful moments for me. Having someone come in and judge the way we parent. Not always the easiest to deal with.

If anyone has anymore questions for us, email them to marylthomason@ymail.com or message me on Facebook. Your questions will be totally anonymous.

I figured I needed to say something a bit lighter today, since my last few posts have been so "serious."

Remember how I told you that we were working on potty training Morris? HE GOT IT!!! Finally! He is peeing and pooping in the big boy potty and is not even asking for a sticker or sucker anymore!! I love it! Now if we can just get Manuel to that point, life at the Thomason's house will be much less smelly!!

Last week I took all 3 boys to the dentist. What an experience. NONE of them had ever been and their teeth aren't the greatest. Me, being naive, thought that Tricare (Military insurance) would cover all of the expenses and we wouldn't have anything to worry about. I was very wrong!!
You see, Morris has major decay on his teeth from being able to drink whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted... included bottles/sippy cups at night... The birthmother knew this was not good for him, but allowed it anyways (whole different post, but you can imagine my frustration). This being said, having his teeth brushed  hurts him- very bad. His front two teeth are terrible. I knew that the experience would not be pleasant and tried to warn the dentist before we walked in the door. He was upset from the beginning. Wouldn't even let them take his picture for their file.. ha ha. And we had just walked in- no tools in sight. You can imagine the fiasco in the actual office with the dental hygienist. Both of us holding him just to get his teeth cleaned makes for a very stressful mommy! He didn't understand what was happening and was terrified. The dentist came in (African American male) and Morris was great! He does so much better with men than the others do, it's like he connects with them (not sure why since his birthfather was never around). Maybe he is just confused by the men in his life now being so different than those in his life before. Morris was so calm with the dentist and even let the dentist count his teeth! BIG DEAL!! I was so proud of him... However, we were not able to get x-rays and those are needed desperately!
We are going to have to go in to the OR for a dental procedure!! Have you ever heard of such? Since he is so terrified, he will get "calming" medication before we leave the house and get anesthesia for the procedure. They will be pulling 2-3 teeth and filling/ capping several. I feel terrible for him. I cried when I found out that my baby was going to have to go to school and through the next 5 years of his life without his 2 front teeth! Go ahead and laugh, but I did.
After we find out about the OR procedure, we are taken to the forbidden counter where you find out how much this is going to cost. I, not knowing what was ahead, walk calmly to the counter and my mouth drops to the floor. I am so confused as to why our insurance is only paying half and leaving us to pay $1500.00 worth of dental procedures. INSANE!
The amazing insurance lady at the dental office picks me up off of the floor and proceeds to ask if they have any other insurance. My first response was no... All we have is Tricare- THEN I REMEMBER!! They had Medicaid in FL and I might, just might can get them Medicaid in NC! This would save us $1500.00 and alot of heartache for them to have both insurances and be completely covered!
I checked this out at the Medicaid office on Monday and we just got a letter in the mail stating that we were APPROVED!!!!!! Praise the Lord!!! An answered prayer!

I tell you this, because I want you to know that no, not everything is going insane in our lives with the boys- God IS working and He STILL works!! Sometimes, we, in the flesh, get so caught up in what seems to not be going our way or the way we think things should go that we miss the places where God IS working. You know the saying: "If you want to hear God laugh, tell Him your plans." He is the One who has our best interest in mind. I definitely want Him to be the One leading this family and not Colby and me!

Thank you for your prayers for our family and keep them coming! This is going to be a long journey, but we are "In it to win it!" (little randy Jackson for you) : )

I am starting this post not really sure what to tell you. I feel many emotions right now. yesterday I was telling Colby that I needed to learn more patience but that I was afraid to ask God for it... He knows and is sending me through a LONG journey of what I need but did not directly ask for. I have prayed for Him to give us what we need and to provide for us... Didn't realize that one of those things would be patience.

As I have posted before, today was the day that our attorney was going to speak to the birthfather- or "sperm donor" if you will. She was going to give him one last chance to sign the adoption papers and cooperate without his parental rights being terminated... She called... And he was IRATE with her. He said there was no way that he would sign the papers. He felt like his rights were already taken away and that he would in no way agree for the adoption... Along with many other choice words. The attorney tried to explain that if he would sign and be cooperative, that he would be able to have privileges such as pictures and such of the children. Still no cooperation.

Next Step?

Final Court hearing on July 20th. This is NOT the end of this and this is going to be a VERY LONG process. Our attorney stated to me that of course a lawyer could not guarantee anything, but that there was NO way the birthfather could have rights to our children. He is a very violent and irrational man who is incapable of taking care of our children.

There will be a "final court" date... eventually set... for the legalities to be finalized. We will have to appear in court for this- in FL. This is not a big deal- as long as Colby doesn't get deployed before then.

I am at a loss. I have prayed for God's will, and that is truly what I want for us and our children. However, God has given us a vision for our children... we must stay focused and carry out that vision.

Staying focused is the key word... I feel like we are being hit by many different obstacles. We have fallen down, but we have also gotten back up. While we are down, it is easy to stay down and wallow in our pity... We know this is NOT of God and NOT what He would have us to do. He is calling us to stand back up and keep our sights on Him... This is easier said than done, but we are striving.

I don't want this post to sound like "poor pitiful us." I just don't know how to get across my feelings without being completely honest with you. This hurts. I look at our children and can't imagine our life without them. They are what is pushing us! But we want this to be final and for us to all be Thomason's. Legally. Not just in our minds.

Again, I am reminded that God never told us this would be easy. We are fighters and we WILL FIGHT for our children. NO MATTER WHAT!
I am learning patience and learning God's timing. His timing is not our timing. What we think should just happen, doesn't for a reason. His reason may not be known right now, but we choose to trust in Him and what He sees in and for our family. He has BIG plans for us. And in the mean time we will wait for that.

Hurry Up and Wait- I have already told you guys that I don't do this sort of thing well... Everything was supposed to be final on Tuesday at 5:00 p.m. as long as the birthfather didn't mail anything in contesting the case of us adopting the boys.  Well... now we have this.

As we had hoped and thought, there was NOTHING from the birthfather on Tuesday and papers were taken to the judge on Wednesday, June 8 for him to sign off on the adoption. The judge decided to set a "final hearing" for July 20. For what? I have NO clue! He said he wants the attorneys to move faster and get the case settled... Makes no sense seeing that we have everything ready for him to just sign off on and everything would be final...

Our attorney is going to speak with the birthfather on Tuesday, June 14 @ 10:00 a.m. Her reason for speaking with him will be to try and convince him to sign the papers to agree to the adoption and not fight it. She is sort of "making a deal" with him. IF he signs the papers on Tuesday, then he will be able to receive pictures from the attorney of the children... IF he doesn't sign the papers and wants to wait for this "final hearing," then he will have NO rights and will NOT be able to even receive pictures.... They are trying to make him cooperate a little in this process... Who knows?

This is where we stand. I am so disgusted with our justice system. How can you give a man who is incarcerated so many chances to decide whether or not he wants to "have rights" to his children?? First of all I don't understand how anyone who is incarcerated should have a choice over his children- doesn't seem like he could even control himself, much less my children. Second of all, would a law abiding citizen get this many chances to reclaim their children?

The good news is that the birthfather has not done anything to try and remotely make amends for his children. Let's face it, if you need 20 days to make up your mind on whether you want your children or not... something isn't quite right.

Our attorney is confident that she will win the hearing on July 20, if it even comes down to that.

I am reminded over and over again of the following verse:

Proverbs 3: 5-6
Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.

We could not have gotten where we are today, with our children and family, without leaning on God. We came in to this trusting in Him and we are going to continue to trust in Him. Many times we have to go through trials in order to get to the end of celebration. Needless to say, we have been through the trials and would absolutely love to start the celebration!!! However, we are NOT giving up on God or our children. We WILL fight for them.

I know there has been alot of information in this particular post, but I ask one more thing of you: Please pray. Pray for God's Will to be done, NO MATTER WHAT! That is what we want for our children! All we can do is pray and trust in the Lord!

Matthew 25:40 "The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’

This verse has seemed to resound in my mind and thoughts for quite a while. I have been reminded that what everyone has done for "our family" has really and truly been done for Christ. What you thought was a good thing for us, has been all for Christ! 

I want to thank you for everything. I don't even know where to begin... I am left speechless by the blessings of God. 


It seems so funny to us, as a family, when people come up to us and congratulate us and tell us how great we are for taking on these boys. Or how much of a blessing we have been and will be in there lives. Etc. We find this humorous. We feel that our children are a blessing to US! We are doing nothing short of what God had planned all along. No, we did not plan on adopting 3 children, but God DID! Yes, I realize that we are both blessing each other, but we see it as such a God thing that He has ALLOWED us to be a part of their lives. Yes, I said ALLOWED. This is a privilege to us. Children are possibly the GREATEST gift any one could receive from God! And we are witnessing 3 of them.

On another note: (Not sure how all of this will flow, but I feel the need to write about this.)

Today has been a rough day for me. Tomorrow at 5:00 p.m. the adoption will be final, as long as the birthfather doesn't contest it by that time. All I have been able to do for the past 20 days was pray. Pray for the birthfather. Pray for the boys. Pray for us as a family. Pray for the entire situation. 

This has been a tough road, waking up to the unknown... Not knowing day to day whether we would get that phone call saying that the birthfather was going to contest. 


You see, when we first found out that the birthfather would have a chance to contest- we almost didn't go through with the adoption. IF he were to contest, we would have to pay MORE court fees, MORE attorney fees, and the list goes on and on. It would be $6,000 or more, IF he were to contest.... 
As I look back on our decision to sacrifice whatever it would take to fight for our children, I am in total awe of the God we serve!! With tears flowing down my face as I write this, I am at peace with our decision to follow God's plan for our family and our children. He has provided and will continue to provide. He ALONE deserves ALL of the glory!! What a mighty God we serve!
During our deciding on what we were going to do- go through with the adoption and risk having to pay more, or call everything off and search for another adoption- we consulted in God, our family, our prayer warriors, everyone who we thought might give us some wisdom and insight... (We should have just consulted in God and left it alone, but that is another story for another time.) Some suggested for us to go with it, and some suggested that we not go with it. We got feedback from either possibility... 
I called our pastor and in tears asked for his wisdom and his prayer. I was to the point where I didn't know what was right or wrong. I couldn't discern from God's voice and my wishes.... Pastor Mark talked with us for a while, prayed with us, and gave his opinion. Then he said these words that I will never ever forget: "God always gives the Vision before the Provision." Meaning that God will give us a Vision for His people, then he will provide a way for His vision to come forth. 
It was at this point in our journey that we knew what we were supposed to do. Once we got off of the phone with Pastor Mark, Colby and I prayed. Colby looked up at me and said: "We are supposed to do this." 


God is amazing, right? He works in His time and through His people. We have followed His Will and His voice. It has not always been roses for us. There have been times throughout our month journey that I have turned to God and said "You want me to do WHAT?" But, when we follow Him, He makes a way!!


I ask that for the next 24 hours, you pray with us. We need to make it through tomorrow, June 7 @ 5:00 p.m. I ask that you commit to pray with us and for us. 




Ok- So I know that you guys have questions about our situation and about what we are doing/have done.... I am NOT ashamed and would LOVE LOVE LOVE to answer your questions. Nothing is too personal for me, but I do ask that you not ask anything specific about the birthparents ( where they live, work, names, etc.) But other than that, I will post a blog with your questions(totally anonymous) and my answers. This gives you the time to ask whatever you want... :) You can email me your questions to marylthomason@ymail.com or text them to 662.574.2496. If you do not care if your question is anonymous, you may also post it to this blog. 

What a busy week we have had!

We are slowly but surely getting the boys into a routine and on a schedule. It has been something that they have really needed and truly thrive off of. I love to see them know the "plan" and know that we aren't going to just up and change things on them... like where they will live, etc.

I sit and look at them and my mind wonders. What have my precious boys been through? What have they seen? It breaks my heart to even think about what has gone on before they were placed with us. I know that God has a plan and they are in a better place, but it is still something that I am struggling with. I want to be able to discipline them and teach them right from wrong, but I often wonder if we are being too hard on them or maybe not hard enough. Colby and I know that we have to do our jobs as parents, but we still have in the back of our minds that they have seen and heard some terrible things.

This is tough when you are trying to show love but also discipline. I have always heard the following two statements that I never completely and truly understood until now:
- "This is going to hurt me more than it will hurt you."
- "If you love your child you will show them discipline."

This is where I am at: I want to be the best mother and give them things that they have never had (not necessarily materialistic) and show them things that they have never been introduced to. But I also KNOW that in order for us not to raise hellions, we have to discipline. I mean discipline is Biblical. We want to be Godly parents. But how do we know whether we are doing this "correctly" or not? Is there a "correct" way per say? Not every child is the same and they do not all react the same way to the same forms of discipline. We know this...

But I am struggling with whether or not what we are doing is what we should be doing.

Personalities will be learned from each of us and maybe time will tell, but I don't want to wake up one morning and realize that what we are doing is totally wrong and we need to start over. I keep telling myself that we have only been their parents for a month and we all have things to learn about each other.

We are listening to advice from everyone. Not necessarily taking and using that advice, but we are listening. Lol. I am simply praying to God and asking for His guidance and not guidance from anyone else. I am asking God to help me to discern His voice from others and His thoughts from my thoughts.

May God teach us to be the parents that He would have us to be. May we trust in Him alone and continue to have faith in knowing that He has a plan. He has had a plan for these boys from day one. He is just allowing our paths to cross and allowing us to be their earthly father and mother. May we continue to teach God's love to Marcus, Morris, and Manuel.  My God be the head of our lives and our family!